Failure & Future

Well, it looks like I have failed at another NaNo event.  I know there are still two days left, and miracle word counts have happened.  But my plans include something other than winning a word count this month.  Through my failure I learned what I really want, or rather, what my first step is to getting where I want to go.

My goal is to make a living from my writing.  And I believe that when I complete my first adult book, finishing the next one will be easier.  I also believe that the right readers will be attracted to my work and news will spread.  However, I have tried time and again to finish this first novel that I'm talking about.  I have the story chosen and the plot mapped out, but the finish line seems ever in the future.

Last week a friend challenged me to finish any book I choose by Easter and she would carry it in her store.  As I pondered on finishing my novel for this challenge, I also knew that a goal so far away felt daunting to me.  I wanted something I could complete in a week.  I did some research on stories I had completed, half completed and of various genres.  Then it dawned on me what would work.  I had a children's ebook I had published almost two years ago.  I decided to make that one my first paper version.  I checked pricing at a local printing business and found out that printing my own work was going to be much simpler than I had thought.

So my task this weekend is to format my children's book Betty Butter into a version to send to the printers.  It's lacking a few illustrations.  The e-version has no illustrations but is also less expensive to purchase at only $1.99.  A fun recipe to make homemade butter at the end of the book makes up for the lack of illustrations in the digital version.  I feel that the printed version will not fair so well without the illustrations.

After the completion of this first paper printing project, I have a second story I will write about Betty Butter and print in e-format as well as paper printing.  These were small steps I could see myself completing without being overwhelmed.  And the anticipation of being able to say I have two books out before the New Year is a huge affirmation for me.  As I build my faith in myself, I know that novel will look easier and easier.

That's my plan.  I made a schedule this morning to show my purpose to myself and the universe as to how I'm managing my time in order to meet my goals.  I now feel confident that I will meet them and that God will be there to help me all along the way.  I know he will give me more than I ever dreamed and planned for. 

Novel Update

Today I completed Chapter 3 of my NaNo novel.  As always, there seems to be some challenging days by the third day, and it happened again this year.  I was moving along smoothly from Chapter 1 to Chapter 2 and even into Chapter 3.  Then problems came up in my personal life.  (Isn't there always something that tries to stop you from reaching your goals?)  But by this time, I know things will come up to try to throw me off.  The key is not to let them, to push through somehow so I can finish what I set out to do.

It feels good to finish Chapter 3.  The furthest I've gotten in any book so far is Chapter 5, so that is my first mini goal.

Writing this first book feels like climbing a really hard mountain or something (I've never climbed a real mountain, like with a backpack and all that, but I imagine it feels kind of the same).  I've been conditioning to write this book for the past 2 1/2 years.  And I'm going to do it this time.  There is no turning back.  There is no stopping.  There is no obstacle to get stuck on.  Overcome! is the theme.

For a sneak peak at my first chapter come on over to Tablo and have a read.  Let me know your thoughts.  Also, check out the photo for the book cover below.

I have some great ideas I can't wait to try on the cover.  You won't want to put the book down once you get started.  

How to Get Encouraged and Follow Your Writing Dreams

Before you read this, I highly recommend clicking play on the video so you can hear the music as you read.

This morning I did something a little different.  I listened to some mediation/zen music while I read something inspirational.  The result was amazing.  I have read inspirational material before but struggled with allowing it to truly enter my mind and change and uplift my spirit.  This combo of music and inspirational words took the message straight to my heart and had me in tears in a second.   (Tears are actually a good thing.  They are one of the body's mechanisms to relieve stress.)

My reading was from Joseph Prince's book The Power of Right Believing: 7 Keys to Freedom From Fear, Guilt and Addiction, which you can find here.  (I highly recommend it, as I do two of his other books I have read, Destined to Reign and Unmerited Favor.  These two books broke me out of five years of depression and a life that was going nowhere.  All three of these books are available here as a bundle for less than the cost of buying them separately.  After all, who doesn't like a deal?)

The thing that blows me away about what Joseph Prince teaches is that every time I listen to him or read a chapter in his books or read one of his devotionals, I feel uplifted, as if Joseph Prince is on my side and God is on my side.  I have struggled for almost three years now with writing and wanting to write full time.  I feel like nobody understands me, but when I read from these books, I feel like I am not alone.  I feel like there is a Great Being cheering me on, who has even been the one to give me the idea to write full time.  I feel like He tells me, "It's going to be great!  You were meant to do this.  I gave you the desire to write and to be a writer full time because you have ideas that will change people's lives.  The world needs the ideas that are swirling in your head.  Write them down and the readers will come."

Every time I am encouraged.  So I just want to pass some of that encouragement on to you today by sharing my meditation music with you and by sharing a few words that spoke to me from Joseph Prince's book this morning.

"Friend, we have all been forgiven much.  The problem is, many don't know and don't believe this.  Give up on your own self-efforts to be righteous.  Give up on trying to overcome your own failings, mistakes, addictions, and bondages.  Be like the woman with the alabaster box of precious ointment [Read Luke 7:37-47 in the Bible if you've never heard of the story].  When you fail, don't run away and hide.  Come before His loving presence. Jesus already knows the guilt and condemnation that you are being tormented with.  Come with boldness and confidence like this woman did.  Feel free to weep in His sweet presence and simply worship Him.  Pour out everything that is on your heart to Him.  Don't worry, He will not heap more guilt, shame, judgment, and condemnation upon you.  He will show you His nail-pierced hands and remind you of the cross.  He will say to you, 'Your sins are already forgiven.  I have already paid the price for your sins at Calvary.  Rest in My forgiveness and love for you.'"

Joseph Prince's books have been a lifesaver for me because of their message of grace and hope.  But even if you are not at a time in your life when you can buy these books, you can still get this message of love and hope each day by subscribing to his daily grace inspirations here.  You will get an email every day with a message of hope that will lift you up, and before long you will find yourself making decisions that improve your life and take you in the direction of your dreams.

Continuing the Enthusiasm

I have to report something cool, even though I don't really understand the stats of Facebook or even Blogger for that matter.  But I get the general drift that big numbers are good.

Yesterday I posted a link to the blog I wrote (yep yesterday's blog) where I included the cover photo, a summary and excerpt of the novel I'm doing for NaNo and that will be out this month.  Usually my FB posts reach an average of 20 people.  Well, that particular post reached 159.  Wow, did you see that?  One hundred fifty-nine.  That's huge for me.  So if you have a huge following or whatever, don't laugh at me.  I'm coming to where you are.  And you started out with only 159 at one time.  Lol.  Not trying to hate.  Just some good-natured ribbing.

Anyways, I'm excited.  I've had a really rough day and I feel that was my little bit of encouragement from the writing world.

In case you missed it from yesterday, I will include the cover photo and the link to yesterday's blog for you.  I am so excited about this book.  It has one of those characters that you think, "Shit, I really hope I don't mess her up."

I have added another 1,153 words to my NaNo count as of right now.  I plan to finish the third chapter today.

Link to yesterday's blog

You can also check out a sneak peek of the first chapter here.  It's a "raw" draft copy so there may be some inconsistencies here and there.  But let me know your feedback and comments.  You can find me on Facebook or Twitter to stay in touch for updates.

NaNoWriMo Time!

NaNoWriMo has started.  For those who have never heard of it, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month.  In the month of November writers all over the world take up the challenge to write 50,000 words in 30 days.  This year I gave myself the challenge to write the first two books in the Stone House series, a series I thought of in March of this year.  Below is a picture idea for the cover along with a summary and an excerpt from Chapter 2 of the book.

Kate Galbraith and Stone House

Summary

Kate Galbraith's parents are both dead.  She alone is in charge of her two-year-old baby brother Jacob under the guardianship of their great uncle.  But how will she protect her brother when she finds out her great uncle is their most dangerous enemy?

After coming back from a walk on a dark, rainy day, Kate finds her great uncle and several other men in the house, talking in ominous tones about her and her little brother.  As she eavesdrops, she finds out they have already taken Jacob, and now they are coming after her.  Why?  What do they want with her?  Why did they take her brother?  But there is no time for questions as Kate races out of the house without even a coat against the coming winter cold.

As she begins her journey of escape toward the massive mountain of San Martine that stands behind Stone House like a shield, she doesn't know that she has been inside of her home for the last time in many years.  She's about to find out that the kidnapping of her baby brother is part of something much bigger than she is.

Excerpt from Chapter 2

     Kate ran until she felt like she was going to fall over from exhaustion.  Her lungs burned and the lacerations on her cheeks and hands from the branches that whipped her stung.  The cold air sapped her of the little strength she had left.  Within moments the dogs’ barks grew closer.  Kate pushed herself onward, not knowing how her legs were still able to obey her.  The ground beneath her continued to slope upward with every step.  Each breath came harder and more painful.  She was running for what felt like hours, even though it had been barely an hour since she had left the house.  Her feet were beginning to sink into snow now, leaving an obvious trail for her pursuers.  She ran faster and faster, but the faster she ran the faster they seemed to gain on her.  She broke out onto a small clearing in the wood, the black trees standing out starkly against the white snow, the gray clouds blocking out any light from the sun.  The rain still fell making each step slick and treacherous.

    As she ran out into the clearing, she rethought her path and figured it might be better to stay among the trees, but when she turned to go back, the dogs had broken into the clearing already.  She had nowhere to turn but straight forward.  Finally Kate’s tired legs gave out and tripped over a large rock.  She went down face first into the snow.  The dogs reached her in two bounds.  She held her breath, waiting for them to sink their teeth into her flesh.

You can stay updated with my progress by checking my Facebook page or twitter.  Be sure to like or follow my page to get my posts in your news feed.

Writing in the Morning

Yesterday I completed the first chapter and a half of the book I've been wanting to write since I got the idea in March of this year.  I found the most incredible music on YouTube for it.

Protectors of the Earth by Two Steps from Hell!  Wow, where has this music been all my life?  I actually found out about it probably a year ago when my boyfriend showed me some of it.  The name of their group/band, whatever it is, sounds like it would be a hard rock band or something.  But they have some of the coolest inspirational and writing music I have ever heard.

So anyways, that's what I got accomplished yesterday.  Was up at seven this morning making coffee and taking care of a few loads of laundry.  Now it's time to write again--my favorite thing.  It's crazy that life is meant to be this fun.  My goal for today is three more chapters.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Happy writing to all the writers reading this and happy reading to all you great readers that read our work.  We are very grateful to you.

Working on a Story Idea

Good morning, everyone.  This morning I'm getting to my writing right away.  I slept in a bit, not really on purpose.  I just woke up when I couldn't sleep any more and that time happened to be around ten this morning.  I lay there for a while thinking about writing until I couldn't lay there anymore.  I'm excited to work today on a story that first came to me back in March of this year.  I avoid working on it at times because it's a little intimidating as far as size and the grandness of the story.  But I kept thinking about it this morning until I had to get up and work on it.

I'm making my coffee right now.  I have a bowl of yogurt coming to room temperature for breakfast (I think yogurt has better flavor at room temp).  And my boyfriend is in the living room listening to inspiring music and playing a video game.

It's time to work for our future and do the job I love.  I'll let you know how it turns out.

Parents Visit

Hello everyone.  My parents just left from a two and a half day visit.  My sister and I had a great time with them.  I did not do much writing while they were here, but that did not stop me from talking about writing and writing down story ideas, titles and names while they were here.

The future holds promise and excitement.  I'm jumping right in now that they're gone.  My road to writing constantly beckons.  It woke me up at eight this morning, on a day when I could have slept in later.  But every morning I'm excited to go start my day to see where I can take my life for that day.

My goal is to finish my first book ever.  I'm so close.  It still seems so impossible, but when that first one is done (and just having the rough draft done is my goal) I know my whole career will begin moving so fast I'll wonder how it all happened.  That's what pushes me forward every day.  I know completing just one book--this first one--is my highest mountain to get over right now.  Amazing things are just on the other side, and I keep moving so I can uncover those things.  I'm curious about my future in writing.  I know it's going to be great.  That's what wakes me up every day.

The wheels are turning.  Good things are coming.

Small Town Gossip

I really do not want to write my articles today.  I finished my last two interviews (I thought one had been handled through email, but the guy never got back to me, so I had to call him today).  I still need to write all three articles.  I thought I had plenty of time, but the guys (me and my sister's boyfriends) are coming back from work already.  I don't want to be cloistered in the side room while everyone else is having fun and relaxing.  I already committed to having these done and sent to my editor tonight.  So I'm stuck.  They really don't take too long.  I lie to myself and say, "You only have to write the rough drafts, then you're pretty much done."  I make it sound like it'll only take 20 minutes or so.

I was all set with my info when I got another phone call from a concerned person who wanted to make sure I had the right information for the piece on her father-in-law's 95th birthday.  This person seemed to think that since I had gotten my information from his second wife (his first had passed away) that there were some lies in there or that Second Wife had failed to mention First Wife at all.  On the contrary, the First Wife is the first person Second Wife told me about.

Quite interesting how the people on the side of the righteous were expecting something evil from Second Wife.  They declared themselves as very rude, judgmental individuals by openly proclaiming, "Second Wife is the outcast in the family."  Hmm, and so you are saying that you are the cruel ones who make her the outcast?  I don't think I would be announcing that to the world.  Concerned Person said something about a large sum of money that mysteriously disappeared after her father-in-law remarried.  I don't know what happened.  Honestly, I just want to write about the old man's birthday.  I really wasn't asking for the skeletons in your closet.

After that phone call I was quite uninspired to write the piece at all.  I don't know if I want to save it for the end, or just get it over with quickly.  Lol.  And here I thought stuff like this only happened in movies and books.  When this round of articles is done, I will be very glad.  The rest of the week is mine to use to form my life as I like it.

Wow, these people certainly are funny.  Just had another one call a moment ago with more useless information.  Haha.  I don't know that a 95th birthday has ever caused such a stir before.  I guess that's about the biggest thing that happens in these people's lives.  Lol.

Adding Reading to My Schedule

I woke up this morning, probably around 7 am.  It's Saturday.  I don't normally wake up that early, but with my boyfriend's work schedule, I had gotten used to getting up at 6 am or so.  Sometimes I would go back to sleep, sometimes not.  But now I wake up thinking about writing.  I want to go to the computer to see what I can do today.  I also have been starting my mornings with reading.

Reading has always felt like a real treat to me because, as a child, I could not read until my chores and homework were done.  I was always trying to get in a moment to read.  Many times I read while my chores waited (and my sisters got mad at me because they were already working).  I felt guilty, but I did it anyway.  As an adult, I feel guilty when I read because I learned as a child that it's a past time meant to be done when the work is finished.  But for a writer, it's not a past time, it's part of your job.

I still find it euphoric to believe that I really can read and I must read every day.  It's been a while since I've really gotten wrapped up in a book.  Though I have begun reading again, I don't immerse myself in the stories yet the way I did as a child.  It will come back though.  I might just be afraid to get into a good thing then have to feel that wonderful, terrible feeling of suspense in between reading times or while the author is writing the next book.  Perhaps it's because I made myself wait for years for something that never happened.  (Maybe I will write a book about that someday.)  Suspense turned from pleasure to agony.  I will learn again that suspense is a fun thing.  Suspense and curiosity drive life and make it exciting.

So here's what I'm reading this morning.  I may read parts of each, or just one book.  I don't know.  And that's part of the fun.  I'm still finding my groove with reading.  I'm settling into my life-purpose and it feels so good, even the learning curve I'm on.

Take a Break

Today had next to nothing to do with writing, but I will still record what I did.

Before even changing out of my PJs, I worked on the car with my boyfriend.  We are in the process of changing the transmission fluid (details of which I will leave out because I'm sure they are classified under "boring", but the work itself is rather fun: very mechanical and greasy).

After we were done, we showered and walked 20 minutes to a cupcake shop downtown called Sweetie Pies.  There we enjoyed a birthday cake flavored cupcake and a German chocolate cupcake with house brewed fresh coffee.

On our return stroll we stopped at an elaborate pawn shop and browsed the DVDs and video games.  We didn't buy anything, but we had such fun.  Our next stop was an auto parts store to check for a new seal for the transmission fill plug (see, kinda boring sounding).

It may sound silly, but we had the best time just walking and talking together.  We even discussed a possible story idea for a story submission I want to try.

I loved this day.  And tomorrow I hope to launch out on a tantalizing tale that will get me a YES from the publishers.

Beating the Embarrassment of Failure

So I made it to a second day of writing on the regular.  Something interesting that I want to share from yesterday is a “sign” I found when I sat down at the desk at 6:30 am to write.  I already knew the topic I was going to write about (embarrassment) and that I was going to announce that I was going to, yet again, make a declaration of commitment to writing.

I sit at the desk, turn the computer on and start gathering all the papers in front of me into a pile so I can put them on the side.  (This is actually my sister’s desk because my boyfriend and I are staying at her house while we look for an apartment.)  I pull one paper out that “happens” to say “No More Shame”--a brochure from a Singapore-based pastor named Joseph Prince.  I know his material well.  Bible-based, grace and love-filled encouragement.  His books, CD's, and magazines are all over my sister’s house.  His sermons helped my sister’s boyfriend believe that he would be healed from cancer (and he has been healed for a year now).

This same grace gave me confidence to try again at my writing.  I want to make a living off of writing so bad.  I’ve been reading a book of interviews of well-known writers such as Jodi Picoult, Sue Grafton and others.  So far most of them say the same thing.  “I can’t not write” or “Writing is the only thing I know how to do.”  Yes!  I agree.  There are other things I’ve learned to do such as office work, waitressing, and teaching.  I had to work very hard at those jobs, but I was never naturally good at them.  Writing is the only thing I feel good about doing.  It takes hard work and discipline, but even then it’s fun.  It’s because I know I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.  And I know I’m good at it.  All those other jobs left a daily doubt in my mind of whether or not I was doing well.  But when I write, I know I’m the bomb.

So with renewed commitment and a heavenly sign of “No More Shame”,  I am ready to officially start my career of being a writer for myself (meaning I will not only freelance for the newspaper, but I will turn my own ideas into books--fiction and non--and articles).

Embarrassed to Try Again?

Hello, I’m back!!--(aga-a-in)...(and again)...(and again, and again, and again).  You know those people who say “I’m a writer” and then you ask them a year later “So how’s the book coming?” and their answer is “I’m still working on it”?  Embarrassing, right?  Well, that’s kinda me.

Three weeks ago, my boyfriend and I relocated to a town an hour and ten minutes from the one we were living in (still no Starbucks here, but an improvement nonetheless).  We are still looking for a place, so meanwhile we are staying with my sister and her boyfriend.  I am sitting at my boyfriend’s new, barely used Mac PC that a friend just gave to him (see, I told you it was an improvement), and doing some writing at 6:30am.  Who writes at 6:30am??  I never thought I would.  But this idea came to me and just wouldn’t let me go, and in a house with four people I am forced to find my writing time when the others are sleeping.  And I’m not even a morning person.

I have had the privilege of not having to work for the past 22 months at a typical job so I could focus on my writing.  While I did spend a year and a half writing articles for the local newspaper about fun events like the town’s street festival or the upcoming season of the local corn maze (and am still doing so long distance for the next two months), I didn’t get much accomplished in the fiction department (my true passion) except for finding a thousand ways not to write and finish a novel.  (Maybe I’ll rename my blog!)

Now, the time to get a job has come.  There are no other options.  I have to do work for someone else and like it long enough to make it through this present financial crisis, write a book, and hope it becomes a bestseller so neither my boyfriend nor I have to work.  (That’s the best case scenario.  Making enough off of a book just to replace a low-income paycheck would be UNBELIEVABLE! at this point.)

Last night while trying to go to sleep, I was inspired, or I had had coffee too late at night, and I kept thinking of these ideas to write and to find more freelance writing work.  (Right now I am editing a friend’s book--for pay, mind you--so don’t you adoring fans get any ideas unless you have cash in your wallet.  And of course I’m talking to you in pure belief that you exist and are actually reading this.  I charge $12 an hour in case you’re interested.)  I finally took out my S Pen on my Galaxy Note II and began scribbling my thoughts.

The result:  a new boost of inspiration to get on the writing horse (riding/writing horse--pretty cool, huh?) again.  I thought “I will start my blog again, you know, the one about the writer’s journey to her first novel.  But perhaps I should start a new one, because this time the journey’s for real.  No false starts like the last two or three I pulled.”  But something in me said “It would be so much more real if you continued on the one that already existed.”  So I’m here this morning, writing something new for my old blog, confessing to everyone that I have failed--again; and I’m trying to continue--again.  I don’t expect anyone to believe me it’s for real this time.  I don’t even know if it is.  But I know I’m trying again, in spite of the embarrassment and possible re-failure.  (I can’t in good conscience call it just plain failure after so many times.)

So here I go to catalog my journey again.  I may not see you for another two months, or I may see you again tomorrow.  Either way, I’ll be back, embarrassment notwithstanding.

Learning a Lesson from a Failed Goal

Good morning, everyone.  Here is my progress and a lesson from yesterday.  First, progress.  I intended to write chapters 5-7 yesterday and did not complete them, not even one word.  As humiliating as it is to admit that, I learned a lesson from it.

Lesson:  Every day requires a specific balance of various elements.  For me it is writing, people interaction, a specific reward for that day's work, and a bit of alone time with my boyfriend to catch up on our days.  With the intention of writing, I went to the library to work.  But I could not bring myself to face my story.  It was a matter of nearing burnout.  I just wanted to do something fun, as in, something not related to my story.  But this was work time.  I tried to get focused, but everything I thought about just put me in a tense, very unproductive mode.  I kept thinking about watching a movie on Netflix.  So I finally put all my things away and just gave myself permission to do it.

The result:  I learned I need to schedule my fun time just as I need to schedule my writing time.  I have a new plan I'm going to try that keeps writing, interaction, reward and time with my boyfriend much better balanced.  The great thing about a plan is you can always change it to better suit you.  I found that working on writing nine hours a day does not work for me right now.  I was able to do it for a couple days, but I need a schedule I can follow long-term and still keep my writing fun.  It's hard to do things when they're not fun.

So my new goal for today is just to complete chapter 5.  I would rather have a goal I can reach and surpass than one I never even start on.

Happy writing to everyone.  And don't give up.

My Writing Process and the Next Three Chapters

Very busy day yesterday, but still worked on my book.  I have been watching a YouTube channel called #Katytastic.  Right now I'm watching Katy's video on outlining with Scrivner.  Although this is not my favorite channel to watch, I have found some very useful information about outlining and organizing a book.  I take what I need instead of trying to do my work exactly as someone else does.

Yesterday I completed untangling my first five chapter ideas.  When I first began this book, I did not start with an outline, a plan or even the germ of an idea.  I just grabbed a stack of paper and began writing.  I wanted to feel like I was doing something, making progress on a book.  And as I wrote, the idea began developing before I had completed the first page.  Several pages down the road I knew I wanted to develop my idea into a full book.  So I began my outlining process.  (My process so far is no more complex than taking a piece of paper and numbering 1-10 to begin writing down my plot points.  Along with that I keep a running list of notes, ideas and plot progress as the story unfolds to me.)  I planned out the first three chapters or so as I was writing them.

Then, a week and a half ago I set a deadline to finish the book.  So my first step was to finish outlining the book to make sure my chapters would head in the right direction (at this point they were going a bit here and there, uncertain at times which way to go next because I didn't yet have a clear conclusion to the book).  So in about 2 or 3 days of work, I made a detailed outline/plan for the rest of the book.  Wow!  Hard work I tell you.  I think that's the first time I ever felt exhausted from working on fiction.  But at the same time it was fun and I felt so great that I KNEW I was making progress.  I had pages of notes I could show for my efforts.

After the planning was complete, my first four chapters proved to be a bit of a jungle gym, having to climb all over to follow the story, so I literally cut and pasted (everything is written out longhand so far) the different bits into the chapters they were supposed to go according to my outline.

So that's what I achieved yesterday.  I am all organized and ready to start on today's work.  I am not revealing the deadline at this time because the work for this book keeps growing and I have to move the date to accommodate.  My book almost doubled in length after I completed the outlining process, so that's obviously going to require more days than I originally scheduled.

With my updated work plan for the book, I will be completing chapters 5-7 today.  Thanks for stopping in.  Check back tomorrow to see how I did on my three chapters for the day.  And good luck with your own writing.  If you would like to share your current work in progress, whether it's writing or some other art, or just progress on where you want to get in life, please leave a comment below or on my Facebook page.  I would love to hear from you. 

Overcoming Failure: How to Find the Strength to Commit Again

It's never fun setting out to do something, then looking back to see a gap of several months that you have not kept your commitment.  But what brings the fun back is going back to those abandoned projects, picking up the loose ends and continuing the progress you started all that long time ago.  It can be embarrassing.  The weight of a second impending failure or abandonment seems more real than actually completing the project.

But it's time to say "enough" to these ugly trolls of ridicule and pick up that pen again and march on toward your original goal of completing that novel, posting regularly on that blog, or keeping your social media updated (all areas where I have struggled too, just look at the last time I posted).  But we can let these past failures keep us down, or we can look them in the eye and say, "You've had your fun.  It's time to overcome."

Last Wednesday I renewed my commitment to finish my first book.  I've been putting in an effort for almost two years.  I've tried all those wonderful tricks, such as telling the world your deadline to finish so that you will be driven to complete your book instead of embarrassing yourself by having to retract your statement.  I have done that one--twice!  And been embarrassed both times.  Now if that's not enough to want to hide in the dark....  I've also started this blog in the attempt to inspire myself and others (and keep myself accountable) by posting of my progress every day.  But it's embarrassing to keep writing, "I got nothing done today."  So I eventually left off of that.

So what made me face all my embarrassing failures from the past two years and dare to commit again?  Money.  Value, really.  Because money represents the amount of value we give to something.  I have given myself an ultimatum:  to make a living off of writing, which I keep saying I do, or to call it quits and make money from a normal job where I will feel suffocated.  Either choice is fine to the public.  There is no shame in working a suffocating job.  And both choices will bring in money.  So it's up to me how I want to make a living.  I value my writing, but I want to see that others do too.  I want to see I'm helping someone and making their lives better by what I write.  For me the best way to tell myself my writing has value is to make my living from it.  So there is no turning back this time.

Do you ever struggle with finding motivation in what you want to do the most in life?  Do people tell you "Well maybe you don't want it enough"?  Do you want to put yourself or your art out there but are just too afraid you're going to fail or that no one will buy it?  I would love to hear from you in the comments below.  I know how that feels and how long and difficult the road to motivation can be.  Together we can do this.  We are meant to conquer and to thrive in abundance.  We are meant to be great.

Is Your Work Any Fun?

Hello everyone.  The ups and downs of figuring out one’s first novel can be exhausting.  Forgive my long absence.  I long for the day when my rough draft is complete.  I think I shall feel a huge sense of relief on that day.  But there is still quite a ways to go.

The story is developing on the page, albeit more slowly than I would like.  I think about how many days I have left and the work seems impossible.  But the key is to stay focused on the task at hand.  And to have fun doing it.  

Some may argue that fun has nothing to do with it.  Hard work is what gets things done.  That may be the case for some types of jobs, but for a creative one, it is crucial to have fun.  Inspiration and stress do not go hand in hand.  As soon as I get stressed by my monumental goal, the inspiration leaves.  So I have found a new necessity, to stay calm and happy and to have fun.

You may laugh at what taught me this lesson, but I am not ashamed to say it.  Farm Heroes.  Farm Heroes is similar to Candy Crush, both are made by the same company.  You have to match three or more of the same fruit or vegetable.  And in each level you must collect a specified number of certain fruits and vegetables.  When I first began playing, I flew through the levels.  I was having fun.  When I got to the harder levels, it took several tries to beat each one.  I was still having fun because the most enjoyable part to me was matching those little fruits and looking for rows of five, the ultimate prize in matching.  A row of five apples, for example, will take out every apple on the grid and usually causes a bunch more automatic matches as the rest of the fruits and veggies fall into the open spaces left by the apples.  But then a thought was introduced to me by someone who shall remain anonymous, that careful scrutiny wins the game.  I began analyzing the location of every fruit and vegetable, figuring out what item would fall in their place if I made a match and trying to maneuver certain fruits into certain locations so I could get a win.  While trying this method, the game wasn’t so much fun.  I didn’t feel much like playing any more.  I was afraid I would set the game aside and not care to progress any further since it was becoming a burden to me.  The game used to be fun.  Fun.  That was the key!

So I switched to my former method of just having fun and telling myself, “I got this.”  I began enjoying the game again, and beating the levels again.  Much of the game depends on fate, what kind of new fruits and vegetables enter the grid after you have made a match.  If the game doesn’t give you the veggies you need, you can’t make a match.  So how do you get the right veggies and beat the level?  The only thing that has worked for me is to have fun. When I do, most of the matches are made for me by the random fruit that falls.  I feel like I am doing barely any work at all.  Having fun in the game was a rather easy concept to figure out because games are made for entertainment, to give you fun.  I am choosing the unthinkable and applying that concept to my work.  

Some days, like today, I struggle with knowing what to write next, how to write it.  I need to feel inspired.  I use different things like a movie or song or read a few chapters of a book to inspire myself.  But sometimes that just doesn’t work.  Why would any of those things work if I’m not having fun?

This week I realized that the fun had stopped.  My writing was becoming a chore.  The deep feeling and inspiration weren’t there.  So today I’m starting again with having fun and trusting God to bring the feeling as I approach my work with happiness.

Some practical things I do to make my writing fun again is to imagine myself as a well-known author who gets up every day and writes in her jammies.  She can do whatever she wants, however she wants because she makes an ample living off of her love of writing.  She pauses in the middle of the day to watch a movie or take a nap.  She feels free and happy.  When she wakes she is drawn to her laptop again for love of her characters and the joy of writing.  And perhaps the next day, she just takes off and gives herself a break.

These thoughts make me fall in love with writing all over again and remind me to have fun.

Have fun with me today as we do our work, and let’s see what blessings fate brings our way because of it.

Stepping Into Your Role

Good morning, everyone!  It’s been a while since I have gotten to my blog posting.  Dang this sickness.  But I’m about over the sinus pressure so I've crawled back on the blog horse today.  

Today we are on Day 22 with 38 days to go until March 1, 2014--publication day!  The numbers sound more than scary to me, but I can’t think about that.  I must get this book done.  That is my only choice.  When I think of my characters, Daisy and Dell (the nickname that has grown on me for my heroine’s best guy friend), they take me to another world where that scary type of pressure caused by time doesn't exist.

Two things I want to tell you today about my journey to my first book:  1.) I finally have the feeling back that I used to get when I would sneak off to a secluded spot to write when I was 12; thought I’d never get to have this feeling of excitement about writing again.  2.) I found great power in stepping into the role of who I’m meant to be in life.

Number one is self-explanatory, but let me talk about number two.  Most of my adult life I have followed people’s suggestions on how to live my life, even though their suggestions did not follow what I wanted to do with my life.  Part of it was due to me not seeing writing as a profession but rather a hobby, something to do on the side of real life.  But the older I got, the more I realized I hated everything I was doing in my life.  No job satisfied me.  I thought I was just a lazy bum who hated to work.  The truth was I was waiting for “some day” to get to my writing.  I didn’t think people would approve of my stepping into the writing profession, especially since it doesn’t make any immediate money, or so they tell me.  I listened to them for two years longer.  But something happened to me at the start of 2014.  I was saved by God’s view of my life.  He created me to be a writer.  How long was I going to keep playing around, investigating other people’s suggestions of what I should do with my time instead of pouring my energy into writing a novel?  I took control of my thoughts, told myself “I am a WRITER, a NOVELIST, and that’s what I want to do with my life.”  Ever since that point, the drive, the motivation, the energy, excitement, and inspiration I needed for a project as intimidating as publishing an entire novel, came to me.  

Every time I begin meditating on my characters, I start feeling excited.  My novel calls to me, pulls me toward itself, to write, to work, to find out what’s going to happen next in the story.  I never felt this way when I was half “noveling”, as my cousin George calls it, and half investigating other options of work for my life.  The drive I needed came only when I completely accepted who I was.

So I push forward with everything I have, on a time scale that’s far too short; excited, persistent, almost in tears at the relief I feel to finally be doing what I want, what I was made to do from the day I was born.

Follow my progress on Facebook and Twitter @EdinanRoman as I reach my goal day by day.

Holding Onto a Great Idea

Good morning everyone!  Finally able to get up and start writing again.  The sinus headaches were killing me, but those seem to be over for the most part.  Still gotta deal with this cough, but what better way than to write and immerse myself in some good movies for inspiration?

There’s not much progress to catch up on, since I have been lying ill and struggling merely to breathe, let alone write.  But let me fill you in on a little writer’s quirk that I experienced once again.  As you know, I have a book scheduled to publish March 1st this year, a mere 51 days away, and my mind is running off on new ideas and actually considering writing a completely different book than the one I had planned.  You may think I’m crazy to even have these thoughts, but I've heard of these things before.  Writer’s minds are very funny things and do many things on their own without the owner’s permission.

But common sense calls to me and tells me that would be a ridiculous stunt at this point in the game.  I know that, and the fact is in my mind as well.  I just don’t know why it would take off like that and cook up such a preposterous notion, throwing me off from the work I have already committed myself to doing, taking out the excitement of this book and throwing it into something new.  It’s exhausting trying to keep tabs on my mind.  But it’s this same mind that I appreciate and love for its wild ideas.  Without them my life would be dull and safe, doing something mundane from 9 to 5 every day until I went insane.  

So today, I call to the adventurous minds out there and invite you to let your ideas fly.  But when you latch onto one, make sure to hold him down good and keep your eye on him because there’s liable to be 50,000 other ideas more amazing than the one you’re holding.  That’s when you've got to get your focus on and see that tough bird through.  It’s not going to get done otherwise.  Just ask my file cabinet full of half-written stories collected over the twenty years I've been writing.

Together we will conquer the flying idea we have captured and see it through, no matter how many other sparkling ideas fly out of our heads.  Here’s to great ideas--and getting them done!

If you have not done so already, check out my Facebook page and click “like”, or follow me on Twitter @EdinanRoman.

See you tomorrow!

Scritch Scratch

So I woke up in the middle of the night with a throat so scratchy I could barely swallow.  I stumbled to the kitchen to get that tasty cherry-something-flavored medicated throat spray.  I turned the light on to make sure I had the nozzle pointed in the right direction.  Relief!  I was able to sleep until the morning light came in my window.

My robe and I are still best friends even though it is nearing noon.  But there is nothing like the comfort of a robe to draw the characters out of my head and onto the page, at least that’s what I tell myself.

Last night a new hero developed in my mind.  And I’m not talking about a hero in CastleVille (which, by the way is progressing very well; I have completed the second part of the Yuletide quest and now have a magical berry patch growing).  My new hero is a guy.  I’m withholding the name for now because I’m only 99% sure about it.  Maybe after today I’ll be 100%.  He will be a friend to Daisy Mosse, my heroine.  But that’s all you get to know for now.

No progress made on chapters, however, the development of said hero greatly progressed my story line.

Thanks for stopping in again.  This is Day 5 with 55 days to go until publish date March 1st.  Check out my Facebook page and click Like for the magical experience of becoming a fan.  Also, follow me on Twitter @EdinanRoman.

See you tomorrow!

Without a Robe

Kinda late going to press today folks.  All due to good reasons.  

This morning was spent cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, going to an appointment and getting some quick shopping done.  Got back home for lunch, finished up the laundry, took care of some financial matters and now finally sitting down to write.  Oh, and checked on my CastleVille, of course!  I think I am progressing very well through the Yuletide Quest, a special holiday quest in which Kris Kringle can be used as a hero to explore while I help him rebuild the toys that got broken when his sleigh crashed into I kingdom.  It is silly games such as these that drive a writer to complete her goals, just so she can take that well-earned break to check her CastleVille.

So you can see, no robe day for me.  And I had a normal breakfast of pancakes, a banana and coffee.

Progress on my writing...ok, here goes.  I am still at only two chapters complete, but as soon as I publish this blog post and update my growing number of adoring/adorable (pick whichever fits) fans (and yes, I mean you!), I am off to the Pennsylvania hills to see what my main girl Daisy Mosse is up to.  Yep, it’s out.  She’s my girl, my protagonist, the heroine of my story.  At least I’m planning for her to close the last page of the book as a triumphant heroine.  However, I’ve heard these characters can be sneaky sometimes and change the story around on you.  So now you know my main character and setting.  But that’s all for now.  

I never thought I’d be one of those weird writers that refused to tell what her book was about while it was still in the rough draft stage, but I learned by trial and error, mainly error.  After sharing the story line with one too many people, it changed on me.  Hence, the story I’m writing now is completely different from what I was telling people last month.  So I am choosing to shut up and let it out bit by bit.  So you all will just have to wait.

Thanks for stopping in again.  Hope everyone had a happy New Year.  Writers, this is our year.  Let’s go for it and finish our novels or take the next step in our writing dreams.  Check back tomorrow on my progress and connect with me on Facebook, www.facebook.com/oneladyofshalott, and Twitter @EdinanRoman.