How Do I See Myself?

First, my apologies for not posting on Thursday as I stated in my last blog, but happy Friday to you! I have a great post for you today to finish out the week.

This month we are talking about The Imaginary You: Finding and Becoming the Real You. I’m not an expert on the subject, I’m just sharing some things that worked for me. You can try some of these things out to see how they work for you, or come up with your own ideas.

The Question

One of the first things that helped me get started on finding myself was to ask myself this question: How do I see myself?

What is your self image? Mine was of a person who was very afraid, never got things done, made proclamations to the world about writing a book then never followed through, someone who didn’t want to face life, who was more comfortable hiding than being an adult, an awkward person steeped in depression and rejected by everyone she dated or wanted to date.

Being truthful in answering this question about myself was vital to the next steps I would take, which we will talk about in the following weeks. For now, take some time this week to ask yourself how you see yourself. Write it down, do a voice recording, make a video. Then play it back or read over it and be as honest as you can with yourself. Write down how you feel about yourself. Do you like yourself? Hate yourself? Why?

There's lots of things we imagine about ourselves, thus creating an imaginary version of ourselves. This "imaginary you" can work for you and against you, a concept we'll cover later in the month.

Next week we’ll talk about how your self image plays into finding the real you.

The Announcement

I promised an exciting announcement this week, and here it is: The current fictional series I’m working on, Mint Julep Adventures, is in its editing phase right now and will be ready for publication very soon! I will be self publishing it as an ebook. I have plans to create a paperback, but not for a while yet. As soon as we pass edits, I will be choosing a release date. I’m so excited to have such a fun project almost ready to put out into the world.

Thanks again for reading. I’ll see you next week for more about finding and becoming the real you.

Next week: "Accepting Yourself As You Are"

How to Get Encouraged and Follow Your Writing Dreams

Before you read this, I highly recommend clicking play on the video so you can hear the music as you read.

This morning I did something a little different.  I listened to some mediation/zen music while I read something inspirational.  The result was amazing.  I have read inspirational material before but struggled with allowing it to truly enter my mind and change and uplift my spirit.  This combo of music and inspirational words took the message straight to my heart and had me in tears in a second.   (Tears are actually a good thing.  They are one of the body's mechanisms to relieve stress.)

My reading was from Joseph Prince's book The Power of Right Believing: 7 Keys to Freedom From Fear, Guilt and Addiction, which you can find here.  (I highly recommend it, as I do two of his other books I have read, Destined to Reign and Unmerited Favor.  These two books broke me out of five years of depression and a life that was going nowhere.  All three of these books are available here as a bundle for less than the cost of buying them separately.  After all, who doesn't like a deal?)

The thing that blows me away about what Joseph Prince teaches is that every time I listen to him or read a chapter in his books or read one of his devotionals, I feel uplifted, as if Joseph Prince is on my side and God is on my side.  I have struggled for almost three years now with writing and wanting to write full time.  I feel like nobody understands me, but when I read from these books, I feel like I am not alone.  I feel like there is a Great Being cheering me on, who has even been the one to give me the idea to write full time.  I feel like He tells me, "It's going to be great!  You were meant to do this.  I gave you the desire to write and to be a writer full time because you have ideas that will change people's lives.  The world needs the ideas that are swirling in your head.  Write them down and the readers will come."

Every time I am encouraged.  So I just want to pass some of that encouragement on to you today by sharing my meditation music with you and by sharing a few words that spoke to me from Joseph Prince's book this morning.

"Friend, we have all been forgiven much.  The problem is, many don't know and don't believe this.  Give up on your own self-efforts to be righteous.  Give up on trying to overcome your own failings, mistakes, addictions, and bondages.  Be like the woman with the alabaster box of precious ointment [Read Luke 7:37-47 in the Bible if you've never heard of the story].  When you fail, don't run away and hide.  Come before His loving presence. Jesus already knows the guilt and condemnation that you are being tormented with.  Come with boldness and confidence like this woman did.  Feel free to weep in His sweet presence and simply worship Him.  Pour out everything that is on your heart to Him.  Don't worry, He will not heap more guilt, shame, judgment, and condemnation upon you.  He will show you His nail-pierced hands and remind you of the cross.  He will say to you, 'Your sins are already forgiven.  I have already paid the price for your sins at Calvary.  Rest in My forgiveness and love for you.'"

Joseph Prince's books have been a lifesaver for me because of their message of grace and hope.  But even if you are not at a time in your life when you can buy these books, you can still get this message of love and hope each day by subscribing to his daily grace inspirations here.  You will get an email every day with a message of hope that will lift you up, and before long you will find yourself making decisions that improve your life and take you in the direction of your dreams.

Embarrassed to Try Again?

Hello, I’m back!!--(aga-a-in)...(and again)...(and again, and again, and again).  You know those people who say “I’m a writer” and then you ask them a year later “So how’s the book coming?” and their answer is “I’m still working on it”?  Embarrassing, right?  Well, that’s kinda me.

Three weeks ago, my boyfriend and I relocated to a town an hour and ten minutes from the one we were living in (still no Starbucks here, but an improvement nonetheless).  We are still looking for a place, so meanwhile we are staying with my sister and her boyfriend.  I am sitting at my boyfriend’s new, barely used Mac PC that a friend just gave to him (see, I told you it was an improvement), and doing some writing at 6:30am.  Who writes at 6:30am??  I never thought I would.  But this idea came to me and just wouldn’t let me go, and in a house with four people I am forced to find my writing time when the others are sleeping.  And I’m not even a morning person.

I have had the privilege of not having to work for the past 22 months at a typical job so I could focus on my writing.  While I did spend a year and a half writing articles for the local newspaper about fun events like the town’s street festival or the upcoming season of the local corn maze (and am still doing so long distance for the next two months), I didn’t get much accomplished in the fiction department (my true passion) except for finding a thousand ways not to write and finish a novel.  (Maybe I’ll rename my blog!)

Now, the time to get a job has come.  There are no other options.  I have to do work for someone else and like it long enough to make it through this present financial crisis, write a book, and hope it becomes a bestseller so neither my boyfriend nor I have to work.  (That’s the best case scenario.  Making enough off of a book just to replace a low-income paycheck would be UNBELIEVABLE! at this point.)

Last night while trying to go to sleep, I was inspired, or I had had coffee too late at night, and I kept thinking of these ideas to write and to find more freelance writing work.  (Right now I am editing a friend’s book--for pay, mind you--so don’t you adoring fans get any ideas unless you have cash in your wallet.  And of course I’m talking to you in pure belief that you exist and are actually reading this.  I charge $12 an hour in case you’re interested.)  I finally took out my S Pen on my Galaxy Note II and began scribbling my thoughts.

The result:  a new boost of inspiration to get on the writing horse (riding/writing horse--pretty cool, huh?) again.  I thought “I will start my blog again, you know, the one about the writer’s journey to her first novel.  But perhaps I should start a new one, because this time the journey’s for real.  No false starts like the last two or three I pulled.”  But something in me said “It would be so much more real if you continued on the one that already existed.”  So I’m here this morning, writing something new for my old blog, confessing to everyone that I have failed--again; and I’m trying to continue--again.  I don’t expect anyone to believe me it’s for real this time.  I don’t even know if it is.  But I know I’m trying again, in spite of the embarrassment and possible re-failure.  (I can’t in good conscience call it just plain failure after so many times.)

So here I go to catalog my journey again.  I may not see you for another two months, or I may see you again tomorrow.  Either way, I’ll be back, embarrassment notwithstanding.

Is Your Work Any Fun?

Hello everyone.  The ups and downs of figuring out one’s first novel can be exhausting.  Forgive my long absence.  I long for the day when my rough draft is complete.  I think I shall feel a huge sense of relief on that day.  But there is still quite a ways to go.

The story is developing on the page, albeit more slowly than I would like.  I think about how many days I have left and the work seems impossible.  But the key is to stay focused on the task at hand.  And to have fun doing it.  

Some may argue that fun has nothing to do with it.  Hard work is what gets things done.  That may be the case for some types of jobs, but for a creative one, it is crucial to have fun.  Inspiration and stress do not go hand in hand.  As soon as I get stressed by my monumental goal, the inspiration leaves.  So I have found a new necessity, to stay calm and happy and to have fun.

You may laugh at what taught me this lesson, but I am not ashamed to say it.  Farm Heroes.  Farm Heroes is similar to Candy Crush, both are made by the same company.  You have to match three or more of the same fruit or vegetable.  And in each level you must collect a specified number of certain fruits and vegetables.  When I first began playing, I flew through the levels.  I was having fun.  When I got to the harder levels, it took several tries to beat each one.  I was still having fun because the most enjoyable part to me was matching those little fruits and looking for rows of five, the ultimate prize in matching.  A row of five apples, for example, will take out every apple on the grid and usually causes a bunch more automatic matches as the rest of the fruits and veggies fall into the open spaces left by the apples.  But then a thought was introduced to me by someone who shall remain anonymous, that careful scrutiny wins the game.  I began analyzing the location of every fruit and vegetable, figuring out what item would fall in their place if I made a match and trying to maneuver certain fruits into certain locations so I could get a win.  While trying this method, the game wasn’t so much fun.  I didn’t feel much like playing any more.  I was afraid I would set the game aside and not care to progress any further since it was becoming a burden to me.  The game used to be fun.  Fun.  That was the key!

So I switched to my former method of just having fun and telling myself, “I got this.”  I began enjoying the game again, and beating the levels again.  Much of the game depends on fate, what kind of new fruits and vegetables enter the grid after you have made a match.  If the game doesn’t give you the veggies you need, you can’t make a match.  So how do you get the right veggies and beat the level?  The only thing that has worked for me is to have fun. When I do, most of the matches are made for me by the random fruit that falls.  I feel like I am doing barely any work at all.  Having fun in the game was a rather easy concept to figure out because games are made for entertainment, to give you fun.  I am choosing the unthinkable and applying that concept to my work.  

Some days, like today, I struggle with knowing what to write next, how to write it.  I need to feel inspired.  I use different things like a movie or song or read a few chapters of a book to inspire myself.  But sometimes that just doesn’t work.  Why would any of those things work if I’m not having fun?

This week I realized that the fun had stopped.  My writing was becoming a chore.  The deep feeling and inspiration weren’t there.  So today I’m starting again with having fun and trusting God to bring the feeling as I approach my work with happiness.

Some practical things I do to make my writing fun again is to imagine myself as a well-known author who gets up every day and writes in her jammies.  She can do whatever she wants, however she wants because she makes an ample living off of her love of writing.  She pauses in the middle of the day to watch a movie or take a nap.  She feels free and happy.  When she wakes she is drawn to her laptop again for love of her characters and the joy of writing.  And perhaps the next day, she just takes off and gives herself a break.

These thoughts make me fall in love with writing all over again and remind me to have fun.

Have fun with me today as we do our work, and let’s see what blessings fate brings our way because of it.