Monday, January 20, 2014

Stepping Into Your Role

Good morning, everyone!  It’s been a while since I have gotten to my blog posting.  Dang this sickness.  But I’m about over the sinus pressure so I've crawled back on the blog horse today.  

Today we are on Day 22 with 38 days to go until March 1, 2014--publication day!  The numbers sound more than scary to me, but I can’t think about that.  I must get this book done.  That is my only choice.  When I think of my characters, Daisy and Dell (the nickname that has grown on me for my heroine’s best guy friend), they take me to another world where that scary type of pressure caused by time doesn't exist.

Two things I want to tell you today about my journey to my first book:  1.) I finally have the feeling back that I used to get when I would sneak off to a secluded spot to write when I was 12; thought I’d never get to have this feeling of excitement about writing again.  2.) I found great power in stepping into the role of who I’m meant to be in life.

Number one is self-explanatory, but let me talk about number two.  Most of my adult life I have followed people’s suggestions on how to live my life, even though their suggestions did not follow what I wanted to do with my life.  Part of it was due to me not seeing writing as a profession but rather a hobby, something to do on the side of real life.  But the older I got, the more I realized I hated everything I was doing in my life.  No job satisfied me.  I thought I was just a lazy bum who hated to work.  The truth was I was waiting for “some day” to get to my writing.  I didn’t think people would approve of my stepping into the writing profession, especially since it doesn’t make any immediate money, or so they tell me.  I listened to them for two years longer.  But something happened to me at the start of 2014.  I was saved by God’s view of my life.  He created me to be a writer.  How long was I going to keep playing around, investigating other people’s suggestions of what I should do with my time instead of pouring my energy into writing a novel?  I took control of my thoughts, told myself “I am a WRITER, a NOVELIST, and that’s what I want to do with my life.”  Ever since that point, the drive, the motivation, the energy, excitement, and inspiration I needed for a project as intimidating as publishing an entire novel, came to me.  

Every time I begin meditating on my characters, I start feeling excited.  My novel calls to me, pulls me toward itself, to write, to work, to find out what’s going to happen next in the story.  I never felt this way when I was half “noveling”, as my cousin George calls it, and half investigating other options of work for my life.  The drive I needed came only when I completely accepted who I was.

So I push forward with everything I have, on a time scale that’s far too short; excited, persistent, almost in tears at the relief I feel to finally be doing what I want, what I was made to do from the day I was born.

Follow my progress on Facebook and Twitter @EdinanRoman as I reach my goal day by day.

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