Parents Visit

Hello everyone.  My parents just left from a two and a half day visit.  My sister and I had a great time with them.  I did not do much writing while they were here, but that did not stop me from talking about writing and writing down story ideas, titles and names while they were here.

The future holds promise and excitement.  I'm jumping right in now that they're gone.  My road to writing constantly beckons.  It woke me up at eight this morning, on a day when I could have slept in later.  But every morning I'm excited to go start my day to see where I can take my life for that day.

My goal is to finish my first book ever.  I'm so close.  It still seems so impossible, but when that first one is done (and just having the rough draft done is my goal) I know my whole career will begin moving so fast I'll wonder how it all happened.  That's what pushes me forward every day.  I know completing just one book--this first one--is my highest mountain to get over right now.  Amazing things are just on the other side, and I keep moving so I can uncover those things.  I'm curious about my future in writing.  I know it's going to be great.  That's what wakes me up every day.

The wheels are turning.  Good things are coming.

Small Town Gossip

I really do not want to write my articles today.  I finished my last two interviews (I thought one had been handled through email, but the guy never got back to me, so I had to call him today).  I still need to write all three articles.  I thought I had plenty of time, but the guys (me and my sister's boyfriends) are coming back from work already.  I don't want to be cloistered in the side room while everyone else is having fun and relaxing.  I already committed to having these done and sent to my editor tonight.  So I'm stuck.  They really don't take too long.  I lie to myself and say, "You only have to write the rough drafts, then you're pretty much done."  I make it sound like it'll only take 20 minutes or so.

I was all set with my info when I got another phone call from a concerned person who wanted to make sure I had the right information for the piece on her father-in-law's 95th birthday.  This person seemed to think that since I had gotten my information from his second wife (his first had passed away) that there were some lies in there or that Second Wife had failed to mention First Wife at all.  On the contrary, the First Wife is the first person Second Wife told me about.

Quite interesting how the people on the side of the righteous were expecting something evil from Second Wife.  They declared themselves as very rude, judgmental individuals by openly proclaiming, "Second Wife is the outcast in the family."  Hmm, and so you are saying that you are the cruel ones who make her the outcast?  I don't think I would be announcing that to the world.  Concerned Person said something about a large sum of money that mysteriously disappeared after her father-in-law remarried.  I don't know what happened.  Honestly, I just want to write about the old man's birthday.  I really wasn't asking for the skeletons in your closet.

After that phone call I was quite uninspired to write the piece at all.  I don't know if I want to save it for the end, or just get it over with quickly.  Lol.  And here I thought stuff like this only happened in movies and books.  When this round of articles is done, I will be very glad.  The rest of the week is mine to use to form my life as I like it.

Wow, these people certainly are funny.  Just had another one call a moment ago with more useless information.  Haha.  I don't know that a 95th birthday has ever caused such a stir before.  I guess that's about the biggest thing that happens in these people's lives.  Lol.

Adding Reading to My Schedule

I woke up this morning, probably around 7 am.  It's Saturday.  I don't normally wake up that early, but with my boyfriend's work schedule, I had gotten used to getting up at 6 am or so.  Sometimes I would go back to sleep, sometimes not.  But now I wake up thinking about writing.  I want to go to the computer to see what I can do today.  I also have been starting my mornings with reading.

Reading has always felt like a real treat to me because, as a child, I could not read until my chores and homework were done.  I was always trying to get in a moment to read.  Many times I read while my chores waited (and my sisters got mad at me because they were already working).  I felt guilty, but I did it anyway.  As an adult, I feel guilty when I read because I learned as a child that it's a past time meant to be done when the work is finished.  But for a writer, it's not a past time, it's part of your job.

I still find it euphoric to believe that I really can read and I must read every day.  It's been a while since I've really gotten wrapped up in a book.  Though I have begun reading again, I don't immerse myself in the stories yet the way I did as a child.  It will come back though.  I might just be afraid to get into a good thing then have to feel that wonderful, terrible feeling of suspense in between reading times or while the author is writing the next book.  Perhaps it's because I made myself wait for years for something that never happened.  (Maybe I will write a book about that someday.)  Suspense turned from pleasure to agony.  I will learn again that suspense is a fun thing.  Suspense and curiosity drive life and make it exciting.

So here's what I'm reading this morning.  I may read parts of each, or just one book.  I don't know.  And that's part of the fun.  I'm still finding my groove with reading.  I'm settling into my life-purpose and it feels so good, even the learning curve I'm on.

Take a Break

Today had next to nothing to do with writing, but I will still record what I did.

Before even changing out of my PJs, I worked on the car with my boyfriend.  We are in the process of changing the transmission fluid (details of which I will leave out because I'm sure they are classified under "boring", but the work itself is rather fun: very mechanical and greasy).

After we were done, we showered and walked 20 minutes to a cupcake shop downtown called Sweetie Pies.  There we enjoyed a birthday cake flavored cupcake and a German chocolate cupcake with house brewed fresh coffee.

On our return stroll we stopped at an elaborate pawn shop and browsed the DVDs and video games.  We didn't buy anything, but we had such fun.  Our next stop was an auto parts store to check for a new seal for the transmission fill plug (see, kinda boring sounding).

It may sound silly, but we had the best time just walking and talking together.  We even discussed a possible story idea for a story submission I want to try.

I loved this day.  And tomorrow I hope to launch out on a tantalizing tale that will get me a YES from the publishers.

Beating the Embarrassment of Failure

So I made it to a second day of writing on the regular.  Something interesting that I want to share from yesterday is a “sign” I found when I sat down at the desk at 6:30 am to write.  I already knew the topic I was going to write about (embarrassment) and that I was going to announce that I was going to, yet again, make a declaration of commitment to writing.

I sit at the desk, turn the computer on and start gathering all the papers in front of me into a pile so I can put them on the side.  (This is actually my sister’s desk because my boyfriend and I are staying at her house while we look for an apartment.)  I pull one paper out that “happens” to say “No More Shame”--a brochure from a Singapore-based pastor named Joseph Prince.  I know his material well.  Bible-based, grace and love-filled encouragement.  His books, CD's, and magazines are all over my sister’s house.  His sermons helped my sister’s boyfriend believe that he would be healed from cancer (and he has been healed for a year now).

This same grace gave me confidence to try again at my writing.  I want to make a living off of writing so bad.  I’ve been reading a book of interviews of well-known writers such as Jodi Picoult, Sue Grafton and others.  So far most of them say the same thing.  “I can’t not write” or “Writing is the only thing I know how to do.”  Yes!  I agree.  There are other things I’ve learned to do such as office work, waitressing, and teaching.  I had to work very hard at those jobs, but I was never naturally good at them.  Writing is the only thing I feel good about doing.  It takes hard work and discipline, but even then it’s fun.  It’s because I know I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.  And I know I’m good at it.  All those other jobs left a daily doubt in my mind of whether or not I was doing well.  But when I write, I know I’m the bomb.

So with renewed commitment and a heavenly sign of “No More Shame”,  I am ready to officially start my career of being a writer for myself (meaning I will not only freelance for the newspaper, but I will turn my own ideas into books--fiction and non--and articles).

Embarrassed to Try Again?

Hello, I’m back!!--(aga-a-in)...(and again)...(and again, and again, and again).  You know those people who say “I’m a writer” and then you ask them a year later “So how’s the book coming?” and their answer is “I’m still working on it”?  Embarrassing, right?  Well, that’s kinda me.

Three weeks ago, my boyfriend and I relocated to a town an hour and ten minutes from the one we were living in (still no Starbucks here, but an improvement nonetheless).  We are still looking for a place, so meanwhile we are staying with my sister and her boyfriend.  I am sitting at my boyfriend’s new, barely used Mac PC that a friend just gave to him (see, I told you it was an improvement), and doing some writing at 6:30am.  Who writes at 6:30am??  I never thought I would.  But this idea came to me and just wouldn’t let me go, and in a house with four people I am forced to find my writing time when the others are sleeping.  And I’m not even a morning person.

I have had the privilege of not having to work for the past 22 months at a typical job so I could focus on my writing.  While I did spend a year and a half writing articles for the local newspaper about fun events like the town’s street festival or the upcoming season of the local corn maze (and am still doing so long distance for the next two months), I didn’t get much accomplished in the fiction department (my true passion) except for finding a thousand ways not to write and finish a novel.  (Maybe I’ll rename my blog!)

Now, the time to get a job has come.  There are no other options.  I have to do work for someone else and like it long enough to make it through this present financial crisis, write a book, and hope it becomes a bestseller so neither my boyfriend nor I have to work.  (That’s the best case scenario.  Making enough off of a book just to replace a low-income paycheck would be UNBELIEVABLE! at this point.)

Last night while trying to go to sleep, I was inspired, or I had had coffee too late at night, and I kept thinking of these ideas to write and to find more freelance writing work.  (Right now I am editing a friend’s book--for pay, mind you--so don’t you adoring fans get any ideas unless you have cash in your wallet.  And of course I’m talking to you in pure belief that you exist and are actually reading this.  I charge $12 an hour in case you’re interested.)  I finally took out my S Pen on my Galaxy Note II and began scribbling my thoughts.

The result:  a new boost of inspiration to get on the writing horse (riding/writing horse--pretty cool, huh?) again.  I thought “I will start my blog again, you know, the one about the writer’s journey to her first novel.  But perhaps I should start a new one, because this time the journey’s for real.  No false starts like the last two or three I pulled.”  But something in me said “It would be so much more real if you continued on the one that already existed.”  So I’m here this morning, writing something new for my old blog, confessing to everyone that I have failed--again; and I’m trying to continue--again.  I don’t expect anyone to believe me it’s for real this time.  I don’t even know if it is.  But I know I’m trying again, in spite of the embarrassment and possible re-failure.  (I can’t in good conscience call it just plain failure after so many times.)

So here I go to catalog my journey again.  I may not see you for another two months, or I may see you again tomorrow.  Either way, I’ll be back, embarrassment notwithstanding.

Learning a Lesson from a Failed Goal

Good morning, everyone.  Here is my progress and a lesson from yesterday.  First, progress.  I intended to write chapters 5-7 yesterday and did not complete them, not even one word.  As humiliating as it is to admit that, I learned a lesson from it.

Lesson:  Every day requires a specific balance of various elements.  For me it is writing, people interaction, a specific reward for that day's work, and a bit of alone time with my boyfriend to catch up on our days.  With the intention of writing, I went to the library to work.  But I could not bring myself to face my story.  It was a matter of nearing burnout.  I just wanted to do something fun, as in, something not related to my story.  But this was work time.  I tried to get focused, but everything I thought about just put me in a tense, very unproductive mode.  I kept thinking about watching a movie on Netflix.  So I finally put all my things away and just gave myself permission to do it.

The result:  I learned I need to schedule my fun time just as I need to schedule my writing time.  I have a new plan I'm going to try that keeps writing, interaction, reward and time with my boyfriend much better balanced.  The great thing about a plan is you can always change it to better suit you.  I found that working on writing nine hours a day does not work for me right now.  I was able to do it for a couple days, but I need a schedule I can follow long-term and still keep my writing fun.  It's hard to do things when they're not fun.

So my new goal for today is just to complete chapter 5.  I would rather have a goal I can reach and surpass than one I never even start on.

Happy writing to everyone.  And don't give up.